A dating expert has shared seven behaviors that narcissists often display in close relationships, behaviors that most people struggle to fully understand.
These days, the term ‘narcissist’ gets thrown around quite freely, often used to label anyone showing selfish or self-centered actions in relationships. However, being in a relationship with an actual diagnosed narcissist can be an incredibly draining experience for those on the receiving end.
Dating expert and YouTuber Matthew Hussey has created a video explaining the typical patterns that a narcissist tends to show in a close relationship and why these behaviors are so baffling for most people to understand.
They Can Be Great… Sometimes
One of the first confusing traits Hussey points out is a narcissist’s ability to shift between being the ideal partner and treating you poorly without hesitation.
“When this happens, it’s so maddening,” he explains, adding that this inconsistency can leave the other person constantly seeking those brief ‘perfect’ moments.
“What you’re experiencing is them being great because every box is being ticked right now… The danger is who they are when they’re trying to get their needs met.”
Empathy Gets You Worse Treatment
Empathy and kindness are generally valued in any relationship, but Hussey explains that a narcissist can twist these qualities to their advantage.
“Think about in a relationship like this, how often you end up forgiving someone,” he begins, noting that an empathetic partner may end up forgiving repeatedly, which only encourages a narcissist to continue taking advantage.
“For a narcissist our empathy isn’t seen as some beautiful quality… it’s seen as their ticket to doing whatever they want.”
They Are Able To Move On Impossibly Quickly
Most people feel some sense of guilt or shame after hurting someone, whether intentionally or not. However, narcissists often don’t feel this in the same way.
Hussey suggests that we think back to all the times we’ve been hurt by someone and imagine what it would be like if they brushed it off as though nothing happened.
“Many narcissists will never apologise and expect you to move on,” Hussey explains, adding that when a narcissist does apologize, they usually expect immediate forgiveness without any real accountability.
“Their response is devoid of compassion.”
A Narcissist’s Response To Being Caught Red-Handed
Another warning sign Hussey mentions is how a narcissist will react when confronted with undeniable proof of their wrongdoing. Instead of taking responsibility, they might make up elaborate lies to deflect blame.
For instance, if caught cheating, they might accuse their partner of “invading” their privacy, leaving the partner feeling like they’re somehow in the wrong.
What They Do When You Need Them Most
Hussey describes this as one of the most “earth-shattering, reality-bending” moments in a relationship with a narcissist. When someone truly needs their support, a narcissist is often nowhere to be found.
In situations like financial hardship, serious health issues, or family crises, they might simply walk away, as Hussey notes: “You cannot know the extent to which a person like this will abandon you in the key moments until those devastating moments actually happen.”
A Narcissist’s Emotions Come From A Different Place
There’s a stereotype that narcissists don’t show any emotions, but Hussey clarifies that they are indeed capable of emotional displays—just not in the way others might expect.
When a narcissist feels they are losing control, or if someone threatens to leave them, they may use their emotions to guilt-trip the other person.
This tactic often catches the other person off guard, leading them to question their own feelings and eventually forgive the narcissist.
“It’s not that their tears aren’t real or an act,” he explains.
“Their tears may well be real but their tears are not for you, their tears are for them.”
How Quickly They Can Discard You
The final sign that you are in or have been in a relationship with a narcissist is the startling ease with which they can cut ties and move on without hesitation.
“I feel like every narcissistic relationship is a sort of shocking realisations to wrap your head around,” he shared, adding that one of the most “shocking” revelations in such relationships is realizing how effortlessly a narcissist can end things and appear to carry on with their life.
